July 13th, 2008

The Waiting Place

Have I mentioned that we are about to have a baby any day now? Maybe you intuited as much, as the sheer size of my belly probably eclipses the sun where you live, too. I’m feeling it this time around—aches and pains and oh-the-absolute-exhaustion-of-movement that is the final stretch of pregnancy. These last few weeks find me settled into complete maternity, feet up on cushions, ice cream resting on top of my built-in table, craving beer for breakfast like no one’s business.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not wishing this pregnancy to be over just yet. I still adore it—the feeling that my body is extraordinary and productive and primal in its ability to carry this new passenger. But man, do I ever want a cold beer. Oh! And sushi! And soft cheese!

Despite the aches and forbidden foods, I’m in less of a hurry with this pregnancy. My soul is quieter with this one because I know what comes next: what comes next is also what goes by all too quickly and this time, this time I’m in no rush. Trying to lap up these sun-soaked days with the boy in all their glory before the three of us become a foursome. And too, trying to take in every little kick and stretch and hiccup from this new boy and relish these last moments of complete oneness between us.

His squirming has become familiar now; I have a sense of who he’ll be and how he’ll be by the way he moves inside of me. Peaceful, this one. Calm and gentle and a wise old soul. A synchronous counterweight to the rumble and rip-tide of his older brother.

It’s strange being kicked from the inside by one while simultaneously being kicked on the outside by the other. Strange but perfect—these boys who I get to love in my arms and inside my body at once. These are days of patience, of promise and of hopes and dreams for what is to come. We are waiting to fall in love all over again. We are waiting for this life to begin.

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Posted by: Sarah on July 13th, 2008
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